SUMMER HAS GOT US ALL LONGING FOR HOCKEY - 2011-2012 IS GOING TO BE CRAZY !!!

The  Bruins are champs, Luongo is a joke and the NHL season looms large for NHL diehards.  Last season was crazy !!!  I am going nuts listening to the NFL and NBA strike BS and I want the NHL's best back on the ice. The Hawks and Flyers'  final from the previous year set us up for a great season and the Bruins versus Canucks final had everyone glued to their seat till the last game of the year.

The summer holiday has been good to NHL fans.  Jets drama was finally resolved with the Thrashers moving north.  Winnipeg is going to compete and the fans in the coldest city in Canada are going to give the ex Thrashers the royal treatment.

We also went through the draft and free agency.  The realignment of sides has not been very dramatic if you leave out Philly.  The Broad Street Bullies looked desperate and got rid of some serious firepower on the front line.  This was the price to pay in order to get decent goaltending.  We remain unconvinced that European goaltending will be the answer for the Flyers.  Don Cherry would probably agree with us.  If goaltending remains a problem for Philadelphia; look for panic and seismic changes behind the bench and on the ice.

It was sad to see the Habs and Leafs so quiet this post season.  The fans in both cities are taken for granted by their home teams.  Something needs to change.  fans need to vote with their dollars.  Vancouver and Boston showed us last year that you have to spend dollars and make moves in order to win.    

Thrashers' Mascot Found Guilty of Grand Theft Zamboni

Well, not really. But you have to admire the Atlanta Thrashers' ambitious attempt to sell tickets, even if it does come across as a little desperate (but, admittedly, a lot creative).

According to the storyline of the team's latest marketing campaign, "Thrash" stole the team's zamboni in the hopes of getting more fans to pay attention to the team, which is now in fifth place in the Eastern conference with a 17-11-3 record. He was then apprehended, and, in part two of the saga, found guilty of grand theft zamboni, which at first sound just makes me want to play a new hockey-themed video game by Rockstar rather than attend a Thrashers game. Maybe a slight miscalculation on the Thrashers' part to try and be cute.

Unfortunately for Thrash, the only way to free him is to get Atlantans to purchase 5000 additional tickets to the remaining home games in December, which superficially seems about as likely as the Futurama episode where Atlanta was said to have sunk into the Atlantic Ocean. Of course, while Atlanta is 28th in the league in attendance in averaging 11,929 fans each game, that also means it is very possible for the team to squeeze in 1000 more fans in each of the remaining five home games left this year (with a tilt against the New Jersey Devils this Saturday). Hence the admirable attempt at viral marketing. Let's just hope that is indeed 5000 total tickets and not 5000 tickets each game. If not, Thrash had better get comfortable. However, judging by his testosterone-heavy appearance, he should do alright in prison.

Bogosian Celebrates His Second Goal of the Season like only a Two-Goal Scorer Can: Memorably

When the celebration is more noteworthy than the actual goal, it's kind of a bad sign, but, no matter. Zach Bogosian and the Atlanta Thrashers will take the goal no matter how embarrassing a celebration will forever be attached to it in fans' minds.

It was his second goal of the year and 21st of his career, meaning, maybe, just maybe, he felt the need to get a little light-headed and take a tumble now that he's of legal goal-scoring age. Whatever the case, the goal helped to enable yet another Thrashers victory, which, if you haven't been paying attention, have been piling up as of late. The team is currently in sixth place in the Eastern conference, while Ilya Kovalchuk's New Jersey Devils are just three points out of last. Perhaps most embarrassing, though, is that Niclas Bergfors has six goals and 17 points, while Kovy has five goals and 11 points. What's most embarrassing is that Kovy would likely kill for even the chance to celebrate as Bogosian did yesterday night.

Does Anybody Else Think Ondrej Pavelec Came out of the Hospital a Bionic Man?

Considering Atlanta Thrashers goalie Ondrej Pavelec suffered that strange fainting spell just a few minutes into the season, it's hard to put together a worthwhile before-and-after comparison between his quality of play right now and in the lead-up to what one can only described as one of the most bizarre incidents to ever take place during a hockey game. However, we all do know that he played reasonably well last year in posting a save percentage of .906, in finally giving the team the chance to rid itself of its overextended ties to the often-overweight Kari Lehtonen.

This year, Pavelec not only has a .949 save percentage (you read that right, but funny enough that's only good enough for third-best in the league in what is shaping up to be the year of the goalie), but also a 1.62 goals-against average, which is half of what his GAA was as recently as last year. Indeed, playing goal for the Thrashers has traditionally claimed the self-esteems of even the cockiest goalies out there, meaning not even P.K. Subban's brother, Malcolm, a goalie in the OHL, would be safe... just putting it out there.

So, taking all that into account, what Pavelec has been able to accomplish this year, essentially streamlining at warp speed even the most optimistic of forecasts regarding his career's outlook (the team did sign Chris Mason for a reason), has been nothing short of incredible. It's all the more incredible considering he may just consider himself to be lucky to be alive at this point.

Oh, and he's making just $850,000 this year, so any actual Six-Million-Dollar-Man references would be  inaccurate... although just a tad premature considering the way he's playing right now has him down that road eventually.

Big Buff's Big Night against the Less-Big, Bad Bruins

It's not often that I'm wrong (or at least it's not often that I admit I'm wrong), but in this case it's clear that when the decision was made to move Dustin Byfuglien seemingly permanently to defense the Atlanta Thrashers knew what they were doing. At the time it was clear to me that after he scored 16 points in 16 games in the playoffs last year, starting with the series against the Vancouver Canucks, he was made to be a power forward. Clearly he's much more versatile than anyone outside the Thrashers was willing to admit. 

While proof to that effect has come all season-long (25 points in 24 games to lead all defensemen, including nine goals (also first) and five game-winners to lead the entire league), the exclamation point on his case for league-wide respect and superstar status came on Sunday night when he netted one goal and three assists for a season-high four-point game. It wasn't a new career-high, but it did tie his current one, as he had two goals and two assists in a game in 2008-2009 as a Chicago Blackhawks against the Minnesota Wild. The season before, he had a hat trick and one helper against the Phoenix Coyotes one game, as well.

It's getting to the point where anybody who ever doubted him is in turn doubting their own judgment, because it's there's no way around admitting that this guy, given the ice time, can put up big numbers. From a personal standpoint, he's singlehandedly forced me to do a lot of soul searching. Of course, I found none to speak of, but can still give credit where credit is due. I don't think he will ever win the Norris Trophy, for the same reason that Washington Capitals defenseman Mike Green won't, but never before could people speak of the two in the same sentence without giggling uncontrollably. Of course, the fact that people call him Buffy maybe contributed to that, which is another good sign. Tough as she may be, no one wants a nickname based on a female television character. Big Buff suits him better.

Burmistrov still Has Schultz Searching for His Footing... and Neuvirth for His Jock

This is from Friday night's 5-0 Atlanta Thrashers' win over the Washington Capitals which proves two things: On any given night the Thrashers can compete against the league's elite (they are 2-1-1 against the Caps this season), even if back-up Braden Holtby started the game (starter Michal Neuvirth finished it and was in net for this beauty of a goal); and the Thrashers are in the (very) capable hands of Burmistrov (I think it's safe to say with hands like that a job in construction was never in the cards) going forward along with those of the Thrashers' other young guns in Evander Kane, Zach Bogosian, Tobias Enstrom, Niclas Bergfors, Bryan Little, Tobias Enstrom, Dustin Byfuglien, and even captain Andrew Ladd, who has yet to turn 25. Talk about a youth movement done right. Enstrom is the oldest of that group and he's only 26. Goalie Ondrej Pavelec (23), who only has a 3-4 record, also has a 1.93 goals-against average to go along with a .939 save percentage.

Speaking of goals of the year, there are shades of Kane's goal earlier this year against the New York Rangers:

And every goal-of-the-year discussion has to include Edmonton Oiler Jordan Eberle's first:

If I've missed any, feel free to let me know, but I'm at least confident in the quality of these as nominees and them standing up until the end of the season as such. So sick are they that Britney Spears called to ask for her schtick back. So sick are they that Tom Cruise called and wants to recruit each of them as scientologists (not the players, the goals, proving just how sick he is in turn). So sick are they that Sean Avery reportedly feels threatened, called, and wants to recommend a good therapist to help out just so he can hold onto whatever ounce of attention he has left in the league. And that's pretty sick.

With Goaltending like This, Who Needs Goalies?

Memo to all NHL teams: cut-out goalies can be purchased at your local sporting-goods stores at the very reasonable price of approximately 1/100,000 of what you're paying your actual ones. That, and they don't talk back as much when they feel like they're not starting enough.

On Sunday, quite a few general managers might have felt like making such an investment, with a total of 30 goals scored in just four games, which translates into 3.75 allowed per team. Admittedly, New York Ranger Marian Gaborik and Edmonton Oiler Nikolai Khabibulin did their part in inflating those statistics, with the former actually doing his job after pulling a Houdini of late, and the latter showing his age... apparently the same as the actual Berlin Wall, complete with the all the cracks you would come to expect from something that's 49 years old... and got torn down two decades ago.

Still, as far as I can tell, of the eight Khabibulin allowed, none were as bad as the one above by the Minnesota Wild's Cal Clutterbuck on the Tampa Bay Lightning's Dan Ellis, or Washington Capital Alexander Ovechkin's on Atlanta Thrasher Chris Mason, who actually put it in his own net (below).

So, the Wild's Niklas Backstrom gets credit for providing the only real credible performance of the night, with just one goal allowed (37 saves) against the Bolts. But Chuck Fletcher had probably take note of the memo above for playoff time (if the Wild get that far). Jose Theodore is your back-up after all.

Kane and Little Disprove Kovalchuk Myth

It used to be that Ilya Kovalchuk was the only one capable of scoring highlight-reel goals in Atlanta, but it's become abundantly clear that this latest breed of chicken (or "Brown Thrasher" if you want to get all technical) is a different animal altogether. Case in point would be Bryan Little and Evander Kane scoring spectacular goals on Wednesday night against the New York Rangers en route to a 6-4 victory. The greatest part of all this? The Thrashers have a .500 record at 4-4-1 while Kovalchuk's new team, the New Jersey Devils, have a 2-7-1 record.

Cormier’s so Dirty he Needs to Take a Long Bath... and Other Jokes Having to Do with the Justice System

Atlanta Thrashers prospect Patrice Cormier will not get a criminal record, despite admitting to doing something illegal. Kind of makes you think, huh?

On Tuesday, after pleading guilty to assaulting Quebec Rempart Mikael Tam last season, Cormier received an absolute discharge, allowing him to travel between Canada and the United States, a requirement of his profession, which, apparently, is that of a head-hunter, and not the human-resources kind.

Now, normally, it would be cool to give someone the benefit of the doubt, like Detroit Red Wing Todd “Big Bird-Brain” Bertuzzi, after he broke Colorado Avalanche forward Steve Moore’s neck in 2004. It’s become clear since then that Bertuzzi isn’t a dirty player, just a dumb one... a really, really dumb one. However, in the case of Cormier, there’s no such luck, most notably due to the fact that the hit on Tam represented his third dirty hit in about a month, as the below video will show. Excuse the French. The translation to each slide is below the video. For just the Tam hit, please visit our affiliate site, GetReal Hammered.

Slide one: Patrice Cormier is a good hockey player, but he throws too many dirty hits.

Slide two: He threw three elbows to the head in less than a month... bravo (no need to translate bravo, right?)

Slide three: The first one took place at the World Junior Hockey Championships on December 20, 2009.

Slide four: The second took place during the same tournament two days later.

Slide five: It all culminated on January 17, 2010, when he delivered the most vicious hit in QMJHL history.

Slide six: The victim was Mikael Tam.

Slide seven (after Tam hit): Among other injuries, Tam suffered serious head trauma.

Slide eight: Tam is thankfully alright now.

Slide nine: Now, the only thing left to do is hope that Cormier receives a punishment equal to the pain and suffering he has caused (some editorializing on my part, here).

Cormier received a year-long suspension by the QMJHL, but, after being drafted by the New Jersey Devils, he is now a member of the Atlanta Thrashers organization. What’s funny about that is, before being a part of the Ilya Kovalchuk deal last year, Devils general manager Lou Lamoriello said he had no problem with the hit. Just one more reason not to be able to take him seriously, I suppose. Aside from the initial Kovalchuk deal, it’s important to take everything Mr. Lamoriello says and does with a grain of salt. His exact words were: “There is no issue from my end of it.” Apparently enough of an issue to eventually send him packing, though.

The takeaway from all of this? If a player isn’t good enough to play for Lamoriello, who has reached out to players big (Scott Stevens) and small (Mattias Tedenby), young and old (Brian Rolston), greedy (Kovalchuk) and selfless (Anton Volchenkov), good (Zach Parise) and not-so-good (Dainius Zubrus), and finally clean (Travis Zajac) and not-so-clean (Adam Mair), then there’s a problem.

One can argue that Cormier was just part of a trade and that he’s not necessarily that dirty of a player, but the evidence speaks for itself. He deserves a fair shot at a hockey career, but clearly he’s already burned it thanks to the numerous cheap ones he’s delivered over the course of a very short career that cannot be short enough.

The Top Five Surprises of this Young NHL Season

Obviously, these storylines are about as likely to change as the Toronto Maple Leafs fortunes so far this season (#2), but that doesn’t make them any less fun to read about. Take for example number five, which reads like a success story but is most likely to derail into one of an ended career burst aflame like a $2-million mansion for the insurance money, once its owners realize that the housing market was as much a fad as Britney Spears, Crocs, and New Jersey Devil Ilya Kovalchuk’s wanting-to-go-to-Russia phase. But I digress...

5) Anthony Stewart: The Atlanta Thrashers have somehow, at least temporarily, managed to find the talent in this one-time promising Florida Panthers prospect turned preyed-upon deer carcass by the roadside. Apparently there was something there after all, with Stewart scoring his first-ever NHL hat trick on October 15 against the Anaheim Ducks. What’s most impressive is that before this season he only had four goals total scattered throughout a total of 105 games in parts of four previous seasons in the NHL. Therefore, the real surprise is not necessarily his four goals in five games... it’s the fact that he made the team in the first place.

4) Ondrej Pavelec collapsing: Sticking with the same team, goaltender Ondrej Pavelec suffered a fainting spell in the Thrashers’ first game against the Washington Capitals. No one was near him on the ice at the time, giving the incident an eery air of mystery. There’s nothing funny here, except for the fact that he must have had a premonition that the Thrashers would actually win that game (4-2) and got so shocked he got a little too lightheaded. Thankfully, he’s okay now, at least okay enough that we can joke about it. He’s rejoined the Thrashers, but his teammates aren’t letting him in on the fact fact that they actually have a winning record for obvious reasons.

3) The Philadelphia Flyers and their goaltending situation: We all knew it was bad, but to hand the starting job to an unknown Sergei Bobrovsky over Brian Boucher, once Michael Leighton went down with injury? Really? The plan has admittedly been somewhat successful, with Bobrovsky currently 2-1, but that lasting is about as likely as defenseman Chris Pronger ever getting his hands on the Lady Byng Memorial Trophy, any way short of knocking out Detroit Red Wing with a clothesline and stealing it from his that is. Datsyuk earning a Gordie Howe hat trick against the Anaheim Ducks a while back just narrowly missed our list.

2) The Toronto Maple Leafs and their quick start: It’s actually their quickest start since the 1993-94 season, during which they won their first 10. Nobody is predicting the Leafs to stay undefeated during regulation the rest of the season, right now at 4-0-1, but credit is definitely due their way after it took them eight games to earn their first win last year. Are the Leafs for real? Well, let me answer that question with another: Do pigs fly? Do flying pigs eat bacon all the while flying around in this little fantasy world made up of sunshine, lollipops, and gumdrops? Technically that’s two questions, but I think I made my point.

1) Marian Gaborik getting injured: just kidding. Really, goalie Tim Thomas regaining his number-one spot with the Boston Bruins: It’s still early in the year and anything can happen, but it looks as if either the hip surgery he had last off-season has really helped or Tuukka “Two ‘U’s, Two ‘K’s, Two Points” Rask has lost head coach Claude Julien’s confidence and is poised to suffer through a sophomore slump after allowing four goals in the team’s first game. Thomas has conversely allowed just one goal in two games played. Whatever happens, it’s clear that the Bruins have great depth and either goalie makes for a very risky choice in your fantasy pool, whether you’re a Bruins fan or not. I think that would be akin to Torontonians snatching up Clarke MacArthur, ignorant to the fact that his early-season scoring binge can’t possibly last.

"I'm back, baby!"

Pavelec Collapses, Taken off Ice in Stretcher

In the Atlanta Thrashers Friday-night game against the Washington Capitals, Thrashers' goalie Ondrej Pavelec lost consciousness on the ice and was taken to hospital. His condition has been deemed stable as of late Friday night. Pavelec, a 23-year-old budding star in this league, was on the verge of becoming the Thrashers' number-one goalie last year, leading to the trade of Kari Lehtonen to the Dallas Stars.

Thrashers and Big Buff Baffle the Masses with Move back to Defense

"I enjoy defence more than I enjoy forward" (an actual quote).

Some may call it a move made out of luxury, but it’s more so one of stupidity.

Blessed with the versatility of Dustin Byfuglien, who can play both the wing and defense, the Atlanta Thrashers finally lifted the curtain of secrecy to reveal their true idiotic nature after weeks of behind-the-scenes whispers. Indeed, in moving the power forward to the blue line on Monday the Thrashers are making a bid to negate a productive off-season by needlessly taking away one of their potential premier offensive weapons out of the picture.

One doesn’t need a PhD in hockey to get a decent handle on just how valuable Byfuglien was to the Chicago Blackhawks during their Stanley Cup run last spring. Even a trained monkey would know the significance of the term “game-winning” as it would pertain to goals scored in the sport. And one certainly doesn’t need to be Koko the ape to understand that scoring five of the 16 needed to win it all is a lot. Except in the case of Thrashers management, that is. 

Conversely, while playing as a defenseman in those same playoffs in the six-game first round against the Nashville Predators, Byfuglien was held pointless. Taking into account the fact that Byfuglien scored 16 points in 22 total playoff games, he actually scored a point per game as a forward. And still head coach Craig Ramsay wants to move him from forward. At this point, the team had better rename themselves the Birdbrains as a pre-emptive strike against all their naysayers for when the white stuff hits the fan. Reports indicate that Ramsay’s system is very offensive-minded and Byfuglien should have no problem finding the net as a blueliner, but to that argument I ask what kind of system were the Hawks, who scored over three goals per game, playing all of last year?

"Booyah! Yeah! Defence is so much more fun than forward!"

There’s little disputing that Byfuglien benefitted from playing with stars Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews over much of the course of those last 16 games, but to deny that his leviathan 6’5”, 265-pound physical presence in the crease and around the net didn’t in some way contribute to his point totals is akin to saying that known Hawks fan Vince Vaughn’s deadpan comedic skills did not at all add to the cult classic that is Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story.

Without Vaughn all you have are hilarious cameos from William Shatner, Chuck Norris, and David Hasselhoff... and that one scene where Justin Long confesses his love for cheerleader Amber only to get hit in the head with a ball for all his trouble. Undeniably laugh-out-loud material, but definitely not enough for a full-length movie. Not even as funny as this comedy of errors Atlanta started playing out in 1999 when it entered the league.

If you want a really true underdog story, look no further than the Thrashers who are trying to make the playoffs for the first time since 2006-2007. After acquiring the likes of Byfuglien, Andrew Ladd, Nigel Dawes, Fredrik Modin, and Ben Eager to boost their offensive depth (Patrick Rissmiller doesn’t count and Donald Brashear should really count as minus-one player) as well as defenseman Brent Sopel and goalie Chris Mason, the Thrashers seemed destined to at least compete for one of the final playoff spots in the Eastern Conference this year, especially taking into account how they finished a mere five points out last season. But they already have four capable offensive defensemen to man the point thanks to Tobias Enstrom, Zach Bogosian, Ron Hainsey, and Johnny Oduya, who more than proved himself capable of moving the puck with the New Jersey Devils of all teams in 2008-2009.

Stay-at-home specialists Sopel and Boris Valabik should complement those four very well, while Byfuglien would just take away one of their spots. Meanwhile, utilizing Byfuglien on one of the top two lines would allow the Thrashers to move a player like Ladd further down as a checking-line winger, a role in which he flourished in Chicago. Rich Peverley would also be one hoping for lower offensive expectations after putting up a career-high 55 points last season as the beneficiary of Ilya Kovalchuk’s sniping skills. With Kovy now patrolling greener pastures in Jersey (figuratively speaking, of course), Peverley had better pray for less on-ice responsibility lest he be found out for the checker in top-six forward’s clothing he really is.

"I have no idea why anybody would ever choose to play forward. Defence is soooo much more fun!!!!"

Byfuglien’s versatility makes him a valuable player, but there’s little value in moving him to defense when the Thrashers’ defensive corps is already complete. Moves such as this won’t just leave analysts scratching their heads... it will lead the Thrashers a few steps back in the team’s evolution. Even the dodo had the good sense to go extinct rather than regress intellectually.