November 9, 2010

The Ugliest Hockey Jersey of All-Time?

Saskatoon Blades Marek Viedensky (left) and Darian Dziurzynski show off their jerseys, made to look like denim and to be worn on Friday as a one-night only promotion. Thank God.

Top 10 Reasons Why Hockey Jerseys Should not Be Made out of Denim:
#10: Why would you need pockets to play hockey? To hold the jock sweat of opposing players?
#9: Only the presumed beer in your water bottle should weigh you down and not your jersey.
#8: For that classic look of casual apathy a hockey player is supposed to convey.
#7: The last time I checked, hockey wasn't NASCAR.
#6: Teams will start needing to employ sewing-capable equipment managers for those times buttons fall off.
#5: It's a slippery slope. The next thing you know they'll be wearing trucker hats instead of helmets, shades instead of visors, boots instead of skates, and square-dancing instead of playing hockey. I for one am not prepared to see Derek Boogaard hoedown instead of beat someone mercilessly.
#4: There's obviously some kind of throwback element here, obviously to the times hockey players wore denim, but some things should stay in the past: Pauly Shore, hair metal, parachute pants, etc.
#3: Please don't make them wear parachute pants next.
#2: Teams don't need fans mistaking the hockey game for a rodeo, and, out West especially, getting up, and leaving when the bull never arrives.
#1: They go a little too well with the cut-off shorts players already wear.


Some other nominees for the ugliest hockey jersey ever worn and thought to be fashionable:
For some reason, ugly jerseys seem to originate out West, with the Vancouver Canucks, Los Angeles Kings, and Anaheim Ducks all displaying their marketing departments' lack of brilliance. I can somewhat understand the Kings and Canucks ones, because they're retro, but the Ducks??? Talk about cross-promotion gone wrong. That animated series from the '90s was not exactly something to look back on fondly. The jersey is something to burn.

2 comments:

  1. LA Kings was beautifull. what the hell are you talkibg about!

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  2. The Canucks jersey of the '80s sets the standard (including the home version which is not shown above). All others aspire for that level of ugliness.

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