November 9, 2010

The Ugliest Hockey Jersey of All-Time?

Saskatoon Blades Marek Viedensky (left) and Darian Dziurzynski show off their jerseys, made to look like denim and to be worn on Friday as a one-night only promotion. Thank God.

Top 10 Reasons Why Hockey Jerseys Should not Be Made out of Denim:
#10: Why would you need pockets to play hockey? To hold the jock sweat of opposing players?
#9: Only the presumed beer in your water bottle should weigh you down and not your jersey.
#8: For that classic look of casual apathy a hockey player is supposed to convey.
#7: The last time I checked, hockey wasn't NASCAR.
#6: Teams will start needing to employ sewing-capable equipment managers for those times buttons fall off.
#5: It's a slippery slope. The next thing you know they'll be wearing trucker hats instead of helmets, shades instead of visors, boots instead of skates, and square-dancing instead of playing hockey. I for one am not prepared to see Derek Boogaard hoedown instead of beat someone mercilessly.
#4: There's obviously some kind of throwback element here, obviously to the times hockey players wore denim, but some things should stay in the past: Pauly Shore, hair metal, parachute pants, etc.
#3: Please don't make them wear parachute pants next.
#2: Teams don't need fans mistaking the hockey game for a rodeo, and, out West especially, getting up, and leaving when the bull never arrives.
#1: They go a little too well with the cut-off shorts players already wear.

Some other nominees for the ugliest hockey jersey ever worn and thought to be fashionable:
For some reason, ugly jerseys seem to originate out West, with the Vancouver Canucks, Los Angeles Kings, and Anaheim Ducks all displaying their marketing departments' lack of brilliance. I can somewhat understand the Kings and Canucks ones, because they're retro, but the Ducks??? Talk about cross-promotion gone wrong. That animated series from the '90s was not exactly something to look back on fondly. The jersey is something to burn.


  1. LA Kings was beautifull. what the hell are you talkibg about!

  2. The Canucks jersey of the '80s sets the standard (including the home version which is not shown above). All others aspire for that level of ugliness.