November 12, 2010

"Puck the Bunnies"... as Opposed to, what?

Here's a little viral video based on the dying breed of hockey "fans" known as puck bunnies care of ukeleleist(?) Tally Deushane. There's some racy lyrics, but nothing regular readers of this blog can't handle, so feel free to press play.

"I'd hate Avery with every ounce of my being, but I'm just sooo happy."
For the blissfully unaware, puck bunnies are hockey groupies, the girls that hang around hockey arenas looking to "meet" hockey players, and it doesn't even need to be an NHL arena. You can go to any major junior hockey game, any university one, any ECHL one for crying out loud, and, as sure as Evgeni Malkin is slumping it up with the Pittsburgh Penguins this year, you will find a handful that think the goalie is pretty cute, or at least he looked cute that second he took his mask off and had the water bottle up against his face. It's a foregone conclusion that even Malkin, the Frankenstein's monster that he is, has met his fair share. Case and point would be Toronto Maple Leafs captain Dion Phaneuf being romantically linked to Elisha Cuthbert. She looks like her, and he like some bulldozer had a field day on his forehead.

Cuthbert is perhaps the most well-known of her species, but she is the rarest as well, since most puck bunnies reputedly stalk their prey out of the desire to upgrade their social stature. And she of course made it to Hollywood all on her own. But make no mistake... she is a puck bunny proven by her once being blinded by the lustre of the crest off Sean Avery's jersey as well, until she came to her senses and realized he was a misogynist with clear-cut mother issues, because even they have standards. They're not high, but they are at least existent.

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