Predictions, Predictions, and More Predictions

As the countdown to the start of the NHL season winds down, it seems only natural to want to make predictions. While it is the “in” thing to do right now and it makes you look cool and everything, the overwhelming need to be heard goes way beyond succumbing to mere peer pressure. It’s endemic. As such, I would be remiss to not make a few predictions of my own, namely the following:

     Montreal Canadiens goalie Carey Price will silence the naysayers by leading the Habs to playoff contention... by finally making his way to the bench for good by mid-December and allowing Alex Auld to become the team’s starter.

"I didn't do it."

     Washington Capitals superstar Alex Ovechkin will finally go too far in blindsiding an opponent, causing the start of his first-ever full-blown fight during the regular season. The problem? That opponent: 5’9”, 157-pound Tyler Ennis of the Buffalo Sabres. Ovechkin will win cleanly, learning nothing in the process. Ennis will get suspended by the NHL.

"Glen, give me your lunch money."

      New York Rangers general manager Glen Sather will try his darndest to get fired by signing defenseman Wade Redden to a six-year, $39-million contract, Scott Gomez to a seven-year, $51.5-million deal, Chris Drury to a five-year, $35.25-million deal, Derek Boogaard to a four-year, $6.5-million deal, and Bobby Holik to a five-year, $45-million deal. He won’t get fired though, turning instead to actually doing his job properly. He will get axed the next day, with Mark Messier taking over for him and continuing to run the team into the ground.

      

     With the weight of the team’s captaincy off his shoulders, Vancouver Canucks goaltender Roberto Luongo will regain his form of earlier years, causing this year’s Stanley Cup favourites to miss the playoffs altogether.

   

     The Chicago Blackhawks will put up a valiant fight in trying to repeat as Stanley Cup champions, but fall eight-to-10 players short.

"Wow... that's a lot of employee turnover."

     The Toronto Maple Leafs will... miss the playoffs... again.

And now for the actual predictions, although that last one is as accurate as they come.