Khabibulin DUI Epitomizes Oilers' Wayward Management

Khabby should have taken a cabby one night last February, evidenced by his 30-day jail sentence

At its very core, Edmonton Oilers goalie Nikolai Khabibulin’s driving-under-the-influence charge is a pathetic cry for attention. “Pathetic” is a fitting adjective given that it also best describes the Oil as whole.

There are few other ways to describe a team that ended last season as the worst in the league, a team that actually had playoff aspirations last October, a team that only has itself to blame for its fall from grace from its Stanley Cup Finals appearance in 2006.

Take Khabibulin for instance. Despite being a rather golden-ageish 36 last summer, Edmonton for some reason decided to sign the unrestricted free agent to a four-year, $15-million deal, which might just take him directly to death’s door by contract’s end. And all the Oilers got in return for their altruistic donation of a hefty retirement package was a season in which Khabibulin was plagued by back pains. Management really should have known better than to sign a player whose nickname is based on a physical barrier that got torn down 21 years ago. And then of course there was the DUI last February.

Another example is perennial underachiever Dustin Penner, who led the team in scoring last year... Dustin Friggin’ Penner, the same player that former general manager Kevin Lowe thought had superstar potential and signed to an ill-thought-out $4.25-million-per-season offer sheet in 2007. The same player that was responsible for the all-out war between Brian Burke and Kevin Lowe and maybe even Lowe’s increasingly apparent and uncomely hair loss as a result. The same player that has Edmonton fans aching for 64-year-old children’s entertainer Fred to take his place. The same overpaid player that, despite ending the season with a career-high 63 points, actually had 38 points in just 36 games as late as last December.

Needless to say, Dustin Penner is not familiar with the concept of a strong finish and, as such, no half-decent team should claim Dustin Penner as its best player.

Let’s move on to defenseman Sheldon Souray, who Lowe, without a gun shoved in his mouth I might add, also signed in 2007 to an insane five-year contract. Souray, now stuck in potentially perpetual limbo, is slated to earn $4.5 million this year in the minors because it’s only become apparent now to management that he’s injury-prone and not worth the price of the equipment he needs to wear walking from the house to the car every morning. Rumour has it that he’s so injury-prone that he tore a muscle looking at himself in a mirror after Access Hollywood named him the sexiest player in the league in 2003. His body has just never learnt to properly accommodate his larger head in the years that followed.

Despite all this, the Oilers do have the backbone of a decent team, but one only set to be ready a few years down the road, once the Souray, Penner, Khabibulin, and the six-year, $33-million Shawn Horcoff (don’t think we forgot about him) contracts run their course. This past off-season, current gm Steve Tambellini made a move so rare in Edmonton, the papers actually ran the story a day late just to double check their sources. But it was true; he’d signed defenseman Kurtis Foster to a fiscally responsible two-year, $3.6-million contract.

Should Foster somehow stay beyond the two years, the Oilers’ back-end, also comprising young stars Tom Gilbert and Ryan Whitney, has a realistic chance to dominate the league. Ditto for the team’s forward lines, which in a few years will likely feature by-then-stars Jordan Eberle, Magnus Paajarvi, and recent number-one-pick Taylor Hall. Complemented by current stars Ales Hemsky and Sam Gagner, the trio can realistically help the team make the post-season in three-to-five years, but not sooner.

To all those thinking the Oilers suddenly stand a chance at a Stanley Cup thanks to the injection of youthful exuberance and skill, here’s a reality check: Eberle is 20, Paajarvi 19, and Hall 18. Never before has a team made up primarily of teenagers been able to compete against other NHL teams.

Just look to the 1979-80 Oilers for proof, a team that boasted 19-year-olds Wayne Gretzky and Mark Messier and a 20-year-old Jarri Kurri among others. They ended the season with a 29-35-16 record and just barely made the playoffs. And I hate to break it to all the overly optimistic Oilers fans out there, but Paajarvi is no Kurri, Eberle no Messier, and Hall no Gretzky.

Yes, the Oilers will be a good team eventually, but the pathetic part is that on any given day every other mediocre team in the league is just a few moves away from respectability. It all depends on management’s vision and where they see the team heading. Since 2006, the Oilers’ strategy has been to run the team into the ground in hopes of striking oil. Only time will tell if they have a contender waiting in the wings or not.

Maybe give it a few years and the debate can be revisited, but for now the Oilers have to figure out how to deal with Khabibulin. Logic dictates that Khabibulin, who appealed his 30-day prison sentence on Tuesday, will still play for the Oilers this season. Khabibulin should probably just have accepted his punishment, because, in playing even 30 days less for the Oilers, it will likely amount to a much better time.