John Grahame Returns to the NHL... Kind of

During Thursday night's 6-5 Colorado Avalanche win over the Calgary Flames, a few things probably stood out above the rest:

1) Peter "Roll of the Die" Budaj was starting for the Avalanche instead of the injured Craig Anderson and he proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he can still win at the NHL level... only in the rare occurence that Colorado scores more goals than he lets in.

2) Henrik Karlsson was making his second start in a week for Calgary, clearly serving as indication that the Flames intend-ED to reduce Miikka Kiprusoff's workload this year from the over 74 he's averaged in the last five seasons.

3) The Avalanche's Chris Stewart notched a hat-trick as he continues to prove the naysayers (yours included) wrong, becoming at least temporarily the second-leading scorer in the NHL. I think it's gotten to the point where it's no longer fair to refer to him as "The Brother of Anthony Stewart".

4) Flames head coach Brent Sutter called out the entire team in the media following the loss, making a point of specifically excluding Olli Jokinen from his tirade, which is kind of like a parent using the troublemaker of his three kids as an example to get the other two to quit throwing tantrums in a grocery store: "Quiet down guys! You're being worse than Jimmy! Is that what you want? Is it?"

Beyond all that, the game marked the return of goaltender John Grahame, who last saw game action in the NHL with the Carolina Hurricanes in 2007-2008. Of course, he didn't play yesterday and had also been recalled by Colorado from the AHL last April after signing a mid-season contract with his hometown team in March, but it was still nice to see a familiar face, even his, even if the chances of living through another John Tortorella candid moment in regard to Grahame's lack of top-level goaltending skills are slim to none. It did make number three on TSN's top 10 Tortorella moments if you're interested.

"I wonder if I should send Torts a Christmas card this year."

If you're wondering, Grahame spent 2008-2009 playing for Avangard Omsk in the KHL and most recently was playing for the Lake Erie Monsters in the AHL. While he will never get another chance to start in the NHL, it is nice that something good is coming out of this tragedy, in that it is just as unlikely that Budaj will play all of the Avalanche's game between now and the point that Anderson is healthy again. As such, look for Grahame to make his first NHL start in three years sometime soon. Because at least with Grahame you know what you're going to get, apparently one goal allowed for every four shots on goal... which still would have been good enough for the Avalanche to win last night, by the way.

Tootoo Continues to Overcompensate for Being Named After a Dress

Of course, that would be "tutu", which is admittedly spelled differently, but how many bullies did you know growing up that took the time to differentiate between two homophones when making fun of your name? Clearly, Nashville Predator Tootoo has a lot of emotional scars from his early childhood that are still taking their toll. Here, Tootoo continued to earn his reputation as a lobotomized mental patient that tries to run over anything that moves on Thursday night. It's pretty admirable stuff really, that's he's able to soldier on and act as if he isn't just an oversized dwarf at 5'9" among a peer group of fully grown adults. Kind of brings a tear to your eye. It is the stuff Hollywood movies are made of, after all.

Against the Saint Louis Blues, Tootoo had three notable hits, but it was this charge on defenseman Carlo Colaiacovo above that may end up getting the NHL's attention (if the league brass can take time out of its busy schedule to stop throwing darts at a wall to determine the length of suspensions to be handed out). The one thing that should go Tootoo's way if he does end up getting a hearing with the league is the argument that by leaving his feet he's still only tall enough to lock eyes with any one Montreal Canadien.

Some Good Ol' Backstrom on Backstrom Action (not X-Rated)

Minnesota Wild goalie Niklas Backstrom doesn't necessarily rob his brother from another mother in Washington Capital Nicklas Backstrom (note the extra "C" in his name) on this play from Thursday night, but he does make it look flashy enough. Something for him to write home about, I suppose. If only they even were born in the same country. Goalie Backstrom is Finnish and better Backstrom is Swedish.

Finally!

Edmonton Oiler Taylor Hall netted his first NHL goal on Thursday and it couldn't have come against a more... I want to say "suitable" opponent in the Columbus Blue Jackets. The Jackets' quick 6-3 start (including their shootout win against the OIlers last night) aside, it's really only a matter of time before they show their true colours as an AHL-calibre team.

So, Hall now has three points in eight games. I think hockey fans, myself included, have just become very spoiled over the past five seasons with the influx of elite rookie talent year after year. There was Crosby, Alexander Ovechkin, Evgeni Malkin, John Tavares, etc. Hall will likely be great, but not the next Great One, unfortunately. Hopefully the City of Champions will be able to cope better than all the fantasy-hockey poolies out there who made the mistake of drafting Hall first overall. Memo to the overzealous among us: It isn't as if Hall HAD to get drafted in any of your leagues. You wouldn't have wasted a pick on say Steve Montador, Chris Clark, Dominic Moore, or even Derek Stepan, would you? All of whom have more points than Hall.

Building a Rep and Learning How to Get into Clubs as an Underage Goalie

"I'm so fly! Maybe a girl will actually let me buy her a drink tonight!"

It was nice to see Washington Capitals goalie Michal Neuvirth get his first-ever shutout on Wednesday night, not that it meant he had secured the number-one goaltending spot for the Caps all of a sudden, but because he just looks like he could use the acclaim being thrown his way, to, I don’t know, pop his cherry and grow up and out of that dazed-and-confused seventh-grader look of his.

For the record, Neuvirth is 22 (despite looking 10 years younger; even the beard he wears every so often looks like it could be the unwanted result of him getting drunk and falling asleep at a kegger way too early). His teammate and rival for that starting role is Semyon Varlamov, who’s also 22. Despite their age, they most definitely bring a sense of stability to the position in Washington not seen since the days of Jose Theodore... scratch that, Cristobal Huet... sorry, Olaf Kolzig... my bad... Jim Carey???

 

Let’s just say that they bring a level of competence never before seen in the Washington net. That’s even taking into account Huet playing pretty well for the team in the quarter-season he was with the Caps and Kolzig being a decent goalie back in the day, even winning the 2000 Vezina Trophy. However, it should never be forgotten that Carey also won the award in 1996, serving as proof that one Vezina does not make a career. All the Net Detective did after 1996 was travel between counties as part of a convention tour, signing autographs as “The Other Jim Carrey”, trying to make a living all the while getting up each morning in an alcohol-soaked bed laced with his own filth and beside a different confused groupie who thought she made it with the comedian... or so I’ve been told.

Interesting factoid: Kolzig and Carey doublehandedly ruined then-Buffalo Sabre Dominik Hasek’s bid for an unprecedented eight-straight Vezinas between 1993 and 2001. This of course serves as undeniable proof that there was a conspiracy at work at the highest levels. Need some more? Theodore won the award the very next season in 2002. What this conspiracy meant to accomplish is anyone’s guess, but there it is.

In any case, what is most surprising about Neuvirth’s sudden rise is that everyone had Varlamov pegged as the go-to guy after the Caps (wisely) decided not to re-sign Theodore. Varlamov was the one tasked with cleaning up Theodore’s messes the last two post-season’s, almost leading the Caps to the Eastern Conference Final two years ago before Washington fell to the Pittsburgh Penguins in seven games. This past post-season, he came in in relief of Theodore in game two of the Eastern Conference quarter-final against the Montreal Canadiens after Theodore had let in two goals on two shots. Varlamov then rallied the Caps to three-straight victories before everything came tumbling down for Washington.

Despite Varlamov’s success, including a 19-5 career record in the regular season, the injury bug has opened the door for Neuvirth, who seems to have the inside track toward earning that coveted starter’s position... and of course the title of the hardest-to-pronounce name between the two. Is it New-virth? Noi-virth? It’s long since been established that it’s supposed to be Var-LA-Mov and not Var-LAH-Mov, but I think it would make sense for the Caps to start putting on the phonetic pronunciations of players’ names on the backs of their jerseys. It could do fans some good to actually get to know and grow attached to the players they’re watching, especially seeing as both Neuvirth and Varlamov seem destined to stay a while.

For his part, Neuvirth, who has a 6-2 record so far this season, to go along with a .929 save percentage and a 2.18 goals-against average, may not end this season as the Caps’ undisputed number one, but he is definitely earning a name for himself, at least one worthy of his fake ID.

"One of these things is not like the others."

The NHL or WWE? You Be the Judge

As has been reported to death by now, Chicago Blackhawks forward Marian Hossa has come down with a nasty case of the "upper bodies", succumbing to the plague that has claimed so many before him in the NHL. However, the exact nature of the hit which landed him in the dressing room during Wednesday night's third period against the Los Angeles Kings has been woefully undershown. The reason? It's either that there is no footage that captures it at a good-enough angle, or, what I've been telling myself, the footage that is available makes King Jarret Stoll look like Jerry "The King" Lawler delivering an armbar takedown on Maid Marian, himself (couldn't think of a better wrestling gimmick for a dude named Marian).

"See? See? This is exactly what Stoll did to Hossa!"

As per head coach Joel Quenneville's comments, Hossa will be out several weeks, which can only be considered a huge blow to the Blackhawks with Hossa actually living up to his potential as a point-per-game player (11 points in 11 games) in this season's early going. Now, if only he got healthy and started living up to the expectations of his insane 12-year contract. By the time it's over, he may very well be going through menopause.

Kane and Little Disprove Kovalchuk Myth

It used to be that Ilya Kovalchuk was the only one capable of scoring highlight-reel goals in Atlanta, but it's become abundantly clear that this latest breed of chicken (or "Brown Thrasher" if you want to get all technical) is a different animal altogether. Case in point would be Bryan Little and Evander Kane scoring spectacular goals on Wednesday night against the New York Rangers en route to a 6-4 victory. The greatest part of all this? The Thrashers have a .500 record at 4-4-1 while Kovalchuk's new team, the New Jersey Devils, have a 2-7-1 record.