... And the Only Player Worse than Mike Comrie Is...

It's no secret that GetReal Hockey doesn't like Pittsburgh Penguins forward Mike Comrie. It would be a gross understatement to say that his career has regressed since he nearly single handedly drove himself out of Edmonton all those years ago. Nevertheless, despite his lacking skillset, despite the fact that the only way he can score these days is is if he's at home with his wife, despite his moonlighting as a Josh Duhamel lookalike, there is one player that grinds GetReal's gears more. That player: Montreal Canadiens forward Maxim Lapierre.

Say what you want about Comrie, but at least he stands up for fallen teammates (see above vid). Lapierre? All he does is push the envelope to see how much he can get away with. And it's not a huge leap at all to assume the only reason he decided to grant Comrie his wish to fight last Saturday is because he's about the size of a garden gnome. In that same game, he had the opportunity to go against the the one-inch-taller (and much tougher) Maxime Talbot, but instead of just saying "no" to peer pressure, like we're all taught in high school, he goes to drop his gloves, but leaves them on at the last second, goading Talbot into taking a penalty. And I thought yellow was part of the Penguins' colour scheme.



Yeah, Lapierre got the call he was looking for, but his reputation, which is already pretty bad, took another hit. I'm not saying that Lapierre is useless, as the below video argues. I am saying that there's no place in hockey for his buffoonery.



Lapierre can actually play hockey, which is why it's sad to see him have to resort to playing the game within the game just to make a name for himself. It's even sadder that by the end of his career he'll likely be wishing his was Mike Comrie.

Led by Franzen, Hudler, and Lidstrom, Wings Get Set for Another Winning Season

"Now to finally play where hockey doesn't take a backseat to football. Thank you, Lions!"

The Detroit Red Wings have the unenviable distinction of having made Pittsburgh Penguin and pop-star-husband Mike Comrie look good, which is a very rare feat indeed considering whose arm he is always on.

Comrie tallied twice in the Penguins’ 5-2 win on Sunday, which closed out both teams’ pre-season schedules.

The Pens did successfully exploit the Wings’ holes on defense several times to the point that Comrie was allowed to do what he does best at this stage of his career: essentially wait on Detroit goalie Chris Osgood’s doorstep and pounce like the toothless undersized tiger that he is. Still, all in all, the pre-season doesn’t mean all that much, emphasized by the fact that Detroit ended up with a record of 3-5.

Considering the last time the Wings suffered through a losing season was in 1990-1991 and that the team made the playoffs even then (the first year of a 19-season streak), it’s a fair assumption to make that a different Wings will team will show up come the team’s first real game on Friday.

By all accounts, Detroit’s 2009-2010 was made up of two seasons: the first three quarters, during which they struggled to keep themselves in line for a playoff spot and the last 22 games, during which they accumulated a monster 17-3-2 record en route to a 44-24-14 finish and a second-round defeat to the San Jose Sharks.

There is no denying that last year’s Red Wings were the weakest of several years, thanks to the noted off-season departures of Jiri Hudler, Mikael Samuelsson, and Marian Hossa as well as the 55-game absence of Johan Franzen. With Franzen presumably healthy and Hudler back following his one-year stint in Russia, apparently realizing too late that he didn’t sign with Moscow, Texas to get away from the cold Detroit winters, the Wings have back the depth that characterized much of their last four championship teams.

It exists!

Mike Modano may not have the wheels he once did as a Dallas Star, but as a secondary contributor alongside the likes of Todd Bertuzzi and Patrick Eaves, two failed former top-six forwards, he stands a chance at real success and another Stanley Cup ring. Valtteri Fillpula seems finally destined for a long-term top-two-line spot, which can only end well taking into account the Wings’ track record of slowly developing talent.

Starting goalie Jimmy Howard is proof of that, and next waiting in the wings is defenseman Jakub Kindl, a blue-chip prospect that many thought would only get the chance to prove his worth by the time he was set to retire. Drafted five years ago, he epitomizes the problem facing the organization, or, more accurately, the lack thereof better exemplified by captain and fellow defenseman Nicklas Lidstrom. Kindl is just a byproduct of Lidstrom and the team’s consistent competitiveness.

While Lidstrom’s $6,200,000 salary-cap hit in what most must assume wll be his final season may not properly reflect his ever-increasingly-visible inefficiencies as a 40-year-old playing a game dominated more and more by teenagers, he is still more effective than a 30-year-old Comrie. Granted, that doesn’t say a whole lot, but that’s the thing about the Red Wings. You seldom need to. The playoffs, at the very least, are in the bag.

Pens' Comrie Remains GetReal's Public Enemy Number One

The Penguins' Mike Comrie has obviously been practicing his cherry-picking skills this past off-season in order to hone his known goal-scoring ability, or lack thereof. The result: Pittsburgh beating the Detroit Red Wings 5-2 and his best game in years, in which he got the maximum possible output for the least amount of energy exerted. I don't think he even moved on that first one, with the puck going in off his face. At least we can hope.

I would also like to point out that his newlywed makes a whole $12 million a year, while Comrie brings in $500K...maybe he should take his pretty-boy face on tour with her, because there doesn't seem to be much demand anymore for players whose only real skill is showing up from game to game... and maybe getting lucky enough to find themselves in the right place at the right time every once in a while.

"Mr. and Mrs. Hilary Duff... sounds good to me."