December 2, 2010

... And on the First Night of Hanukkah the Florida Panthers Gave to Me...

I think the Florida Panthers are taking this whole stereotype of Jewish people migrating down South to retire a little too far... I mean it's not like droves of Jews are showing up to their games, let alone anyone else. In any case, the Panthers will be celebrating the Jewish festival of goal lights, apparently, next Tuesday in a game against the Colorado Avalanche by giving away, wait for it, wait for it... kippahs!

The first night of Hanukkah was last, so eight candles later would bring us to Wednesday, making it pretty evident that someone in Florida can at least do some basic addition despite the gaping hole in logic that seems to befall the entire organization as a whole. Does anyone there really think that people are going to show up to a Panthers game because they can pick up a kippah, the top of which will be graced with the team's logo? If so, they probably don't realize the true meaning behind the glorified tea cozy (director Guy Ritchie's words, not mine). Jews wear kippahs to remind themselves that God is above them. Having the Panthers logo on top of one kind of sends the wrong message, not because it's as if to say the Panthers are gods (I don't think anyone would think that... EVER), but because it's incredibly cheesy.

Anyway, what's doubly confusing about this whole giveaway is that the Panthers don't exactly have any Jewish players on the team to properly leverage the promotion. A simple google search would reveal just a handful of Jews in the NHL: The Montreal Canadiens' Mike Cammalleri and Jeff Halpern, Chicago Blackhawk Marty Turco, the Minnesota Wild's Eric Nystrom, Vancouver Canuck Tanner Glass (maybe), Toronto Maple Leaf Mike "Not Dustin" Brown, and, of course, the Swedish contingent of Dallas Star Nicklas Grossman, New Jersey Devil Johan Hedberg, and Detroit Red Wing Henrik Zetterberg. Just kidding about those last two, but Grossman is Jewish according to reports. Of course, come to think of it, Cory Stillman might be, along with superheroes Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, etc.

Not that the Panthers should have felt obliged to give away anything for the holidays, but kippahs do beat gelt. The team does admittedly need every gold-covered chocolate cent it can spare, unless this whole gimmick is just its way of reaching out to commissioner Gary Bettman, which would explain a lot. He's been due for retirement for the past 17 years.

Happy Hanukkah and Holidays. Peace.

1 comment:

  1. humm, there is actually a jewish hockey player on this team, it's Stephen Weiss