Habs Calling It A Season

In my last post I made a case for the Habs and their dreadful campaign. Allow me to even out the playing field…

Before I completely rag on this team, let me first say that it was exciting to see Blake Geoffrion in a Habs sweater for the first time. He was pretty soft of the puck for his debut, but nerves are excusable for his first effort. Not only is he a Geoffrion, but also think about how freaky it would be for anyone to make his debut as part of such a winning franchise. I mean, really. Does this team ever stop constantly winning? I’m surprised any Hab has time to shave in the morning for all the winning. Just one win after the other, let me tell you.

The Canadiens are currently 11 points behind the Capitals in the race for the final Eastern playoff spot, with 18 games to go. It might take a combination of Jesus, Tony “Bananahands” Robbins, and 22 copies of ‘Miracle’ on DVD to make it happen, but it is not yet officially impossible to save this season.

Regardless, after an especially soft effort by the Habbies last night, where they were edged 2-1 in Tampa, it looks as though they’re packing it in and calling it a season.

Pretty generous, if you ask me. I wouldn’t call it a season. I would call it an asshole. I would walk straight up to the Habs’ 2011-12 season, look it straight in the eye, and say “Look, pal. You’re an asshole. And that’s all there is to it.” I mean, the mess they’re in is something to behold. It’s uncategorical!

“At least they weren’t slaughtered,” says my girlfriend, Jacky, after the game.

A valiant effort to thwart my hurling of coffee mugs at walls, Hun, but the scoreboard can be a very deceiving thing.

The beauty of this game, as to any sport, is that there are all these hidden variables to why things happen -- things like a defenseman who uses more energy than necessary on an unsuccessful fore-check, only to be a few breaths short of a successful back-check to follow -- but what I’m specifically referring to is that they all play for themselves in the grand scheme of things. It is almost inconceivable to suggest that a player would dumb down their play for the good of the team’s lottery chances, though it does seem to look that way.

Confidence is paramount.

Lets take a peek at a few interesting stats regarding two players with two of the most important roles on this Habs team:

C Tomas Plekanec

Plekanec’s average ice-time is listed at 20:37. As the Habs resident PK specialist he has been called upon pretty often this season. The problem is that he has the 2nd worst plus/minus in the entire league.

This is an assistant captain who is widely considered to be the best player on this team and I am not convinced that Coach Cunneyworth has a clue in the world how to use him. Get to know your players, man. Yes he is good on the PK, but he really thrives offensively as an unbelievably gifted playmaker. The way Pleks has been utilized this season is criminal and it shows in his lack of confidence.

This result is not solely the fault of coaching, as poor management by Pierre “Mr.” Gauthier never resulted in acquiring formidable line mates for Tomas, though I think a consistent length of time centering Eller and Kostitsyn might have resulted in some dangerous chemistry.

D Tomas Kaberle

I should first note that, regardless of his Leafs persuasion, it is my opinion that Kabs used to be one of the best decision-making, puck moving, break-out defenseman in the entire league. I wanted him on the Canadiens team badly.

Fast forward to this year's trade deadline . . .

Lets put it this way: In return for him I would have accepted a conditional 30th round pick, contingent on whether he can tie his own skates in under half an hour in more than one regular season game.

Listed at -19, Kaberle is the worst D-man in the entire league in plus/minus. The worst.

Holy hell, man. What is the major malfunction?

Granted, this is a man who was obviously brought in to help the Habs PP, but lord knows I’m not going to dig out that armpit of a stat. Nor do I want to bring up his pairing with Campoli.

Kaberle is not necessarily on board to “defend”, but his TOI, listed at 17:40, suggests otherwise. He is the 3rd most-used defenseman behind Subban and Georges.

These are only a few stats that illustrate just a few discrepancies involving this albatross of a season for the Habs. There are a few exciting and glaring upsides, notably the Cole line with the baby genius David Desharnais leading the team in scoring, +/- and being just over 50% in the face-off circle, but lets face it . . .

As the Hollywood of Canada, Montreal fans love the dirt. They prefer to jump into the back seat, the pissed-off end of the bandwagon.

As an obsessive fan, it will always sting the ‘ol ass to watch this team lose, even if it is to gain a Grigorenko, a Galchenyuk, or maybe even a Yakupov in turn. Yes, but you sure as shit won’t see me complaining as one of them hits the stage, awkwardly pulling the CH over their heads for the first time.

Just all of you be sure to spend the next 18 games on your knees, praying like hell to the God of Hockey Fate, Lottery Luck and Amateur Scouting to end up with the real deal stud, and not the real deal dud.

And be real polite about it, ‘cause judging by our Habs’ recent draft history, I think that God is a Bruins fan.

- Amos Legault

Habs and Leafs One of Many Marquee Match-ups Tonight as NHL Season Debuts

On season-premiere night in the NHL, fans will get an original six matchup between the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Montreal Canadiens, but the decades of resentment, hatred, and blood spilt between the two teams will take a backseat to several other more interesting, more current storylines.

     For instance: Habs goalie Carey Price has come down with a sudden case of the flu, as if to say: “That’s weird, my allergies to winning usually only flare up in the spring.” Normally, many might take this opportunity to question Price’s integrity and assume he’s feigning sickness out of fear of facing the Leafs, which is ludicrous... no one is afraid of the Leafs. But he may indeed be afraid of something else. Pick your poison:

     1) Afraid of being the Habs’ go-to guy when the only thing he’s proved himself competent of over the past few years is being a whipping boy for fans and media types alike.

     2) Afraid of the mounting pressure of having to carry the weight of an entire hockey-mad city on his back when he’s collapsed under far less dire circumstances, like onto his bed following a long night of partying.  

      

     3) Afraid of eventually losing his job to defenseman Josh Gorges.

Meanwhile, the Maple Leafs, fresh off stripping blue-liner Tomas Kaberle of his alternate captaincy, continue to force themselves into mitigating their apparent organization-wide lack of class and self-made public-relations disasters. It’s not that Francois Beauchemin and Mike Komisarek don’t make fine alternate captains. It’s that Kaberle has been one since before the lockout, he’s the longest-serving Leaf, and he deserves some kind of acknowledgement for having to put up with head coach Ron Wilson and his delusional paranoia year-in, year-out. The media isn’t out to get you, Mr. Wilson. You do that well enough on your own.

This will no doubt be Kaberle’s last season as a Leaf – this latest incident likely won’t turn him around into thinking that he’s actually valued by the organization, that is if the 100 or so attempts to trade him over the past few years weren’t enough of a hint. Still, the Leafs shouldn’t be doing their best players foul like this. Not only is it a huge sign of disrespect, but it sends a bad message to free agents in the future. The only good thing to come out of this would be a general lack of stars getting in line to sign no-trade clauses with Toronto, but only as a side-effect of a general lack of stars getting in line to sign with Toronto in the first place.

Kaberle may say publicly that having an “A” on a jersey doesn’t matter and that’s true, only if you’ve never been handed one and then stripped of it. Wilson may also say that Kaberle is the next one in line should any of the other three leaders on the team go down with injury, which will no doubt happen sooner or later with Komisarek leading the charge. If he steers clear of the Boston Bruins’ Milan Lucic, his shoulder should at least be alright though... now that’s just leading by example. However, in such a scenario it’s some consolation prize for a player that has stuck with the Leafs through thick and thin over his entire 11-year career.

Finally, there’s the fact that the Habs top scorer in Mike Cammalleri will be missing the season opener in his hometown of Toronto, after being served with a one-game suspension for his slash on the New York Islanders’ Nino Niederreiter, taking exception to the fact that he was arguably blindsided by the rookie in an exhibition game. Unfortunately for Leafs fans, it’s hardly the same as Phil Kessel missing a game. As great as he is, Cammalleri doesn’t really account for 60% of his team’s scoring.

As a result, look for the game to be close, but for the Habs to eek this one out in a shootout. After all, even though reports have surfaced that Price will get the start, he might relapse giving Alex Auld the chance in nets.

"Why are you hugging me? O'Byrne's the one who scored."

Puck drop is at 7 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time. Meanwhile, the Pittsburgh Penguins and the Philadelphia Flyers square off at the same time. The Chicago Blackhawks take on the Colorado Avalanche at 10 p.m., with the Calgary Flames and the Edmonton Oilers renewing the Battle of Alberta at 10 p.m. as well. The action has already kicked off with the Carolina Hurricanes taking on the Minnesota Wild in a matinee.