Marky Markov and the Habs' Funky Short-on-Defensemen Situation

Everything was going so right for the Montreal Canadiens... the team was winning, Scott Gomez finally put himself on pace for a seven-goal season, and even everyone’s favourite whipping boy in Carey Price was stringing together a few performances worthy of the NHL’s first star of the week (which he got awarded on Monday). And then this.

Now comes news that Andrei Markov will be out anywhere from one game to three months to the end of time, which, if you haven’t seen the movie, is apparently in just two years’ time (and the Toronto Maple Leafs were sooo close to winning it all again!).

Now, Markov hasn’t been the team’s best defenseman in a good, long while (that distinction probably belongs to Josh Gorges), especially with the recent rash of lower-body injuries, but he is its most talented, and to lose him for three months would be a huge blow to a team that has gotten a lot of heads shaking so far this year (shaking as if saying: “No. NO! There’s no way in hell this run of luck will continue all-season long for this team of dwarves! There’s just no way!”).

However many non-believers are shaking their heads, the Habs have found themselves in a very difficult predicament. I’m not going to get into how they traded away Ryan O’Byrne last week, because let’s face it: implying O’Byrne could come in cold and even carry Markov’s jock is like saying Brent Gretzky could have put on his brother’s jersey way back when and no one would have been able to tell the difference. O’Byrne’s size (6’5”, 234 pounds) is not a factor, because the two are very different players. One is a good all-around defenseman, unfortunately entering the twilight of his career a few years too early, while the other is barely worth the amount of money it takes to put his name on the back of a jersey.

As such, rumours have been swirling that the Habs are in the market for Vancouver Canucks defenseman Kevin Bieksa. While I would have been the first to discredit these rumours last week with the Habs boasting an unflashy, but solid top-six, I will also be one of the first to admit that things have changed drastically. So, the Canadiens are in a position where they need a defenseman, any defenseman... sorry, any capable defenseman (to exclude O’Byrne), to take Markov’s place, and if Bieksa is that guy (not even close, but for the sake of the argument let’s assume he is), so be it.

It’s no secret that the Canucks have a surplus of defenseman with an otherwise top-pairing guy like Keith Ballard being a healthy scratch last week (ironically against Montreal). Of course, Ballard hasn’t been good enough thanks to recent surgery and will reportedly sit again tonight for the fourth-straight game on Monday. This again changes things, with the Canucks perhaps no longer willing to let Bieksa go.

If that is the case, other possible avenues are in short supply, with Marc-Andre Bergeron representing the most viable option, with him having signed last year for $750,000 and the Habs now having over $1.5 million in cap space. Of course, this is a less-than-ideal scenario with Bergeron being a one-trick pony that has been so ineffective at selling his services on the street corner that he probably couldn’t give it away at this point. But it is something. And then there’s Mathieu Schneider, who at this point is like Bergeron but with even less mobility... clearly a free-agent purchase aimed towards the fickle consumer in your life who has a fetish for golden-agers... and not the Habs, who are searching for a way to replace arguably their best player.

"It's alright dude (patting him on head). You'll get one soon."

So, where does that leave the Habs? Either putting their season squarely on the shoulders of Carey Price, which is a bad idea, or making an ill-advised trade with the Edmonton Oilers for Sheldon Souray, which is a worse bad idea. But, as for the salary going the other way, I do hear Gomez will still probably end up with fewer goals this season than the injured AHLer. Bottom line: I wouldn’t want to be Pierre Gauthier right now (but, really, when have I ever?). Good luck, dude.

Go Streit to Jail, Do not Qualify for Playoffs, Do not Collect $200

The way he’s played, one would think defenseman Mark Streit’s New York Islanders teammates would treat him better. Hell, at least the pain from a swift kick to the crotch wears off eventually, but, instead, forward Matt Moulson opted to go the less-travelled route and illegally cross-check him into the boards during practice, thereby sidelining him for as much as six months.

Now, Streit will never be confused for a most-valuable-player candidate, at least not in the NHL. Of course, if we’re talking peewee, forget about it. He would school those kids as if he was a truant officer and they were playing hooky instead of hockey. But that’s true of most NHLers... except maybe former Islander Mike Comrie, but I digress.

Still, as far as Long Island is concerned, Streit’s potentially six-month-long stint on the long-term injured reserve list has quashed whatever playoff hopes his team might have had. That’s because, while he will never win the Hart Memorial Trophy, Streit is the Islanders’ heart and soul, bar none.

Sure, the team has high hopes for John Tavares and, realistically speaking, the team’s playoff aspirations largely depend on whether or not goalie Rick DiPietro is able to stay healthy long enough to be able to average out his salary per goal allowed instead of just per save, but, all things being equal, Streit is the only star the team has. Literally. He was the only Islander to play in the all-star game in 2008-2009 (there was no mid-season classic this past season).

While Streit will likely never replicate his 62-point season with the offensively gifted Montreal Canadiens from a few years ago (a team that had seven 50-point scorers), his 56 and 49-point campaigns with New York have been just as impressive due to the lack of competent talent around him (who needs friends, when you’ve got teammates like Moulson?). That being said, this could have been a year that the Islanders surprised a few people and, if Tavares’s development jumped by leaps and bounds, maybe made the playoffs.

Without Streit, barring a trade for the Vancouver Canucks’ Kevin Bieksa, who would still be about as fitting a replacement as Danny Trejo was to Chow Yun-Fat all those years ago, the playoffs are a distant dream. Considering Bieksa’s injury history, that analogy is probably as apt as any other.

"We're supposed to be replacement killERS, not killed, right?"

Even the rumoured return of Mathieu Schneider to the island is a crazy notion best left for ABC and its crack team of highly skilled (or just plain high) writers. The bottom line is that Schneider is about as equipped to man the point on the power play at his age (41) as he to drive. His last kick at the can was last season, and he spent a significant portion of it with the Manitoba Moose in the AHL for a reason. The last time I checked, the world already had a former Canadien playing for the Moose well into his golden years, and even Mike Keane realized it was high time to retire.

Even with a blue-line bolstered by the likes of Bieksa or Scheider, and the recently acquired James Wisniewski and Mark Eaton, the loss of Streit turns the Islanders’ defensive corps from a lower-tier NHL-calibre one to one more fit for the AHL. Milan Jurcina has never been able to catch on with a major-league team for a reason. Meanwhile, Bruno Gervais is one trade to a good team away from a demotion. The same goes for Jack Hillen and Andrew MacDonald, who may not be old, but still belongs on the farm. Don’t even get me started on Radek Martinek.

"I think I see the light, Doug. Do you?"

As for the team’s forwards, while characterized by youth, it’s the elderly statesman who serves as captain, Doug Weight, and the overwhelming desire to get him to change his first name to “Dead” just for kicks, that best sums up its capabilities up front. One foot in the grave is how the team’s playoff chances looked a week ago. With Streit gone, get your shovels.

Reports are conflicting as to just how long Streit will be out, but if it’s for any significant length of time, three things are almost foregone conclusions:

1)     Moulson feeling really, really, really bad all season long.

2)     DiPietro praying for an injury to get out of playing for his defenseless team.

3)     The Islanders getting another lottery pick at next year’s draft.