Thrashers' Mascot Found Guilty of Grand Theft Zamboni

Well, not really. But you have to admire the Atlanta Thrashers' ambitious attempt to sell tickets, even if it does come across as a little desperate (but, admittedly, a lot creative).

According to the storyline of the team's latest marketing campaign, "Thrash" stole the team's zamboni in the hopes of getting more fans to pay attention to the team, which is now in fifth place in the Eastern conference with a 17-11-3 record. He was then apprehended, and, in part two of the saga, found guilty of grand theft zamboni, which at first sound just makes me want to play a new hockey-themed video game by Rockstar rather than attend a Thrashers game. Maybe a slight miscalculation on the Thrashers' part to try and be cute.

Unfortunately for Thrash, the only way to free him is to get Atlantans to purchase 5000 additional tickets to the remaining home games in December, which superficially seems about as likely as the Futurama episode where Atlanta was said to have sunk into the Atlantic Ocean. Of course, while Atlanta is 28th in the league in attendance in averaging 11,929 fans each game, that also means it is very possible for the team to squeeze in 1000 more fans in each of the remaining five home games left this year (with a tilt against the New Jersey Devils this Saturday). Hence the admirable attempt at viral marketing. Let's just hope that is indeed 5000 total tickets and not 5000 tickets each game. If not, Thrash had better get comfortable. However, judging by his testosterone-heavy appearance, he should do alright in prison.